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Monday, February 29, 2016

Maple Leafs Make Bold move with Goalies

In a shocking 3 am move the Maple Leafs have traded and released their goalies.  James Reimer was dealt to the Sharks.  Jonathan Bernier was placed on unconditional waivers.  He was surprised and seen in the early hours wondering around the streets of Toronto. 

The management has taken a page from their minor league team the Marlies.  David Ayres the zamboni driver turned goalie was the inspiration for such a bold move.  The Air Canada Centre zamboni drivers were both given player contracts.  The contracts are based on current union scale for driving zamboni's.  They will receive the $18.37 an hour, plus a differential if after midnight of $.50.  Management in an early morning interview is excited about the amazing savings.  "as we know hockey games are generally three 20 minute periods.  We will end up paying them for just about 3 hours a game at $18.37 an hour.  What a savings... there are concerns about over time and shoot outs.  They are demanding double  time for each occurrence.  They also want hazardous duty pay for a shoot out."

The zamboni drivers union is expected to file a complaint first thing Monday morning on be half of the drivers/goalies.  "Double time is a union mandate in this situation..." an anonymous union source said.

The ice crew is scrambling to find qualified drivers.   They have two immediate positions available.  French language skills recommended.

One of the goalies/drivers was asking what size the water bottle holder on the back of net was?  "I am not sure how much beer that would be per period?"  Clearly he has his priorities right.  He seemed mildly confused in the early morning hours.  "This is how we do it in the beer league."  Pointing at a water bottle.

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